Cormac's Friday Flash Fiction challenge this time is 250-1,100 words starting with "As with juggling, the key to life is to keep the procession moving steady and don't look down." Here we go.
Mission Impossible
“As with juggling, the key to life is to keep the procession moving steady and don't look down. You people are just ordinary GI's going into an extraordinary situation. Focus will be required. Now buckle up!”
Sergeant Hanover T Fergus looked like the kind of career soldier not prone to taking prisoners. Packed beneath immaculate combat fatigues was 220lbs of honed fighting man's gristle. The three troopers maintained respectful silence as they jumped into the hummer with him.
Fergus gunned the vehicle out of the base. “You ass-wipes have been hand picked to volunteer for this mission. You will represent your unit with distinction. There will be zero tolerance of fuck-ups.”
“Permission to speak Sergeant?”
“Granted, Harrison. What's your problem?” Fergus managed to load the question with menace.
“Why us, sir? What have I … we … done to deserve this?”
“The army does not justify its decisions, son. It gives orders and you obey. Now does anyone else want to waste the oxygen in my vicinity with further en-quir-ies?”
Harrison, face flushed, lowered his eyes. Janson smirked but quickly restrained himself when he saw the look on Fergus's face in the rear view.
The journey continued, a tense atmosphere dominating the cab of the hummer. Long asphalt miles were chewed as the small troop advanced into the heat of the day.
Finally, Fergus broke the soldiers' reveries. “ETA in two you charmers. It may get ugly but, no matter what happens, I want the best from you girls!”
The hummer swung into a side street. Trees lined the final few hundred yards enabling progress through the shadows.
There was a gateway off to the left. In bottom gear now, the hummer swung slowly through. There was a large open space beyond. The enemy were lined up in ranks. Above their expectant faces was suspended a broad white banner made of cloth. The words on it were painted in green.
'JACKSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WELCOMES ARMY HEROES TO OUR OPEN DAY!'
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8 comments:
Well written and a great twist! I thought you did a great job serving up a pre-battle atmosphere.
Felt a great build up was matched by an excellent final line. A great piece!!
Oh, what a gem of a story!
I wondered what awful situation they were about to go into - but what a twist! ;-)
Nice tight story with a very clever twist. I finished it with a grin.
HA! What a thoroughly excellent twist. I loved the en-quir-ies bit, complete R. Lee Ermey.
Thanks all for the kind comments. I enjoyed writing this - one of those occasions when you just start and, much to your surprise, it just seems to flow. The twist only occurred to me about halfway through.
Randal - I agree about R. Lee Ermey although it I didn't think of him at the time. The figure that actually sprang to mind was the badass general-type in Avatar (who probably owes a lot to Ermey anyway).
Regards,
Lewis
AHAHAHA! I loved the twist Lewis! This was great, I was expecting something different, but either way you had me. Damn I can't seem to pull the fish hook out now...
HA! Lewis, that was great. Super twist at the end, mate. School is probably that scary these days though. Well done.
Have a great weekend.
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